The Play Patterns Method™
A course to see beneath your child's behaviour. Understand their nervous system and know how to hold them through every moment.
Your child's nervous system is always speaking to you.
Not just during meltdowns.
In the toys they choose. The way they move through a room. The tone of their voice. How loud they play. How quiet they go. Whether they let others choose or have to be the boss. Whether they can sit still or need to keep moving.
None of it is random.
None of it is "just how they are."
This is their nervous system showing you how they move through the world.
What if you could see it? Really see it?
What if every behaviour made sense - not as a problem to fix, but as information to read?
Once you can see it and know exactly how to support them, everything changes.
IMAGINE
Watching your child play and actually seeing what their nervous system is telling you. Not guessing. Knowing.
Noticing the way they take up space, the way they go quiet, the way they let others choose - and it all making sense.
Feeling like you finally GET your child. Like you can see who they really are underneath.
A child who feels seen - and is deeply regulated.
A parent who can read their family's nervous system.
A relationship that holds all of it.
That's what's on the other side of this.
What parents are saying...
THE FOUR PLAY PATTERNS
Every child has a pattern - a way their nervous system naturally moves when they feel safe.
You see it most clearly when they play.
POWER PLAY The one who has to win. Who builds the tower just to knock it down. Who roars like a lion and crashes cars as hard as they can. Who wants to feel their IMPACT on the world.
PERFECT PLAY The one who lets others choose. Who plays the helper, the teacher, the mummy. Who watches your face and keeps things nice. Who's trying on attunement - and then finds their way back to themselves.
BUSY PLAY The one who flits. Who starts the puzzle, abandons it for blocks, dumps those out, runs to the window. Who can't land, can't settle, needs to move. Whose energy fizzes like carbonation.
QUIET PLAY The one who watches from the edges. Who takes their time. Who whispers to stuffed animals and goes still when you come near. Who has a whole world inside.
When you can SEE the pattern, you understand them differently.
You stop trying to make them someone they're not. You see who they really are underneath. You finally have a way to understand what's actually going on.
PLAY = VISITING AND RETURNING
Here's what most parents don't realise:
A regulated child doesn't sit calmly all day. A regulated child MOVES - through power, stillness, movement, connection. They visit different states and they RETURN.
They get loud, get big, push every edge... and come back soft. They flit and scatter and can't land... and then they do. They go quiet, drift inward... and emerge when ready. They let others choose... and then say "actually, I want the red one."
This movement IS regulation.
The waves rise and fall. Energy builds, releases, settles. The nervous system visits and returns.
This is what healthy looks like.
But sometimes they can't find their way back.
Sometimes your child visits Power Play... and doesn't return. The energy gets bigger. The voice gets louder. Someone gets hurt. They're not playing anymore.
Sometimes they visit Busy Play... and can't land. The spinning gets faster. The flitting becomes frantic. Nothing you say gets through.
Sometimes they visit Quiet Play... and disappear. The stillness deepens. The eyes go blank. Nobody's home.
Sometimes they visit Perfect Play... and lose themselves completely. The monitoring intensifies. The frozen smile won't crack.
This is when they've left the bubble of safety.
This is when play becomes stress.
This is when Power Play becomes the Explosive Child. When Busy Play becomes the Anxious Child. When Quiet Play becomes the Dreamy Child. When Perfect Play becomes the Golden Child.
This is when they need you most.
UNDERSTANDING IS THE FIRST STEP. THIS IS THE REST OF THE MAP.
You might already understand your child's patterns. You might sense what's happening in their nervous system.
But does that understanding help you:
→ At 7am when they won't get dressed? → At 6pm when everyone's tired and someone hits someone? → At bedtime when it's been two hours? → When they've tipped from play into meltdown? → When nothing you say is landing?
Understanding is one thing. Knowing what to DO is another.
How do you set a boundary with an Explosive Child without starting a war? How do you know if your Golden Child is really "fine"? How do you help an Anxious Child when they can't stop moving? How do you reach a Dreamy Child who's disappeared?
And what about when YOU mess up?
This is the practical part.
Catching it early. Before the explosion. Before the shutdown. Before you've both lost it.
Holding a boundary that actually lands. That they're relieved by instead of fighting against.
Understanding what's happening in YOUR body when they kick off - and having a way through that isn't yelling or shutting down.
Messing up. Repairing. And it bringing you closer instead of further apart.
WHAT'S INSIDE
Module 1
Your Child's Play Patterns
Learn to see your child's nervous system - not just during meltdowns, but in everyday moments of play.
What you'll learn:
- The four Play Patterns and what they look like in YOUR child
- How to watch the waves - energy rising, peaking, releasing, settling
- The signs they're returning to CONNECTED
- Patterns across contexts - why they're different at home vs school
- When patterns blend - Power-Perfect, Busy-Quiet combinations
- Reading YOUR child's rhythm - their baseline, transitions, and way of moving
Module 2
Safety, Riding Big Waves & Boundaries
When the Wave Doesn't Complete - Sometimes waves don't complete on their own. Your child visits Power Play... and doesn't return. The bubble of safety is gone.
What you'll learn:
- Play Patterns vs Stress Archetypes - why the difference changes everything
- The Four Stress Archetypes: Explosive, Golden, Anxious, Dreamy
- The stress cycle and WHY TIMING CHANGES EVERYTHING
- Boundaries by archetype: Solid, Warm, Movement-first, Soft & slow
Module 3
Repair & Reconnection
Because you're going to mess up. We all do.
What you'll learn:
- What repair actually looks like - for each archetype (they need different things)
- The timing piece - when repair lands, when it backfires
- When repair makes it WORSE - and what to do instead
- Rebuilding after big ruptures - when it's been really bad
- Repair vs reassurance - the difference matters
- The repair that heals vs the repair that's about YOU feeling better
- You'll stop fearing rupture and trust the process.
Module 4
What's Happening in YOUR Nervous System
What you'll learn:
- Why you can't do what you KNOW - the gap between understanding and action
- What's happening in YOUR body when they kick off
- Why certain archetypes trigger YOU more - it's not random
- Your pattern meets their pattern - what happens when Explosive meets Explosive, or Golden meets Golden
- The moment you lose access to everything you've learned
- You'll finally understand what's going on for YOU.
Module 5
Why "Staying Calm" Doesn't Work
Can we be frank? Trying to stay calm all the time... it isn't working, for a reason.
What you'll learn:
- The myth of calm - what we've been sold vs what actually helps
- Pretend calm vs real presence - and why your child knows the difference
- What your child actually picks up - from your body, not your words
- Why the calmer you TRY, the worse they get - the paradox explained
- What regulation actually looks like - it's not what you think
- You'll stop performing and start being present.
Your Child's Four Play Patterns: The Complete Guide
Trust your Body, Transform your parenting.
The Play Patterns Method™
Everything you need to go from understanding to action.
USD$347
one-time payment
- 2 hour Webinar REPLAY with Eleanor & Emma
- 5 comprehensive modules you work through at your own pace
- Lifetime Access
This course is for you if:
✓ You want to deeply UNDERSTAND your child - not just manage behaviour
✓ You're curious about what's underneath, not just what to do about it
✓ You want to see your child's nervous system in everyday moments - not just during crises
✓ You understand the patterns but don't know what to DO when things tip over
✓ You want practical, real-life application
✓ You're tired of theory that doesn't help at 7am
✓ You want to set boundaries without starting wars
STILL UNSURE IF THIS COURSE IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
"I've tried the gentle parenting approach - it doesn't work for my child"
You're probably right.
If "gentle parenting" means:
- Validating endlessly while they escalate
- Explaining and reasoning at the wrong time
- Being so soft there are no edges
Then no, it won't work.
Because your child doesn't need you to be gentle. They need SAFE, and they need SOLID.
Module 2 shows you the difference.
"My child is more intense / different / the exception"
The patterns are universal. But how intensely they show up varies hugely.
Some Explosive Children are nuclear. Some Golden Children are so hidden you almost miss them. Some Anxious Children have been labelled ADHD (sometimes accurately, sometimes not). Some Dreamy Children are so frozen they barely speak.
Intensity doesn't change the pattern. It changes how much support they need.
This course meets you where your child actually is.
"I've tried staying calm and it makes things WORSE"
Yes. It often does.
Because "performed calm" isn't calm.
When you're activated inside but forcing a calm voice? Your child receives mixed signals. Their nervous system reads: THREAT.
They escalate MORE.
Module 5 explains exactly why - and what to do instead.
This isn't about being calmer. It's about being real.
"Is this just more theory?"
No.
This is watching your child play and finally understanding what their nervous system is practising.
This is knowing why they always let others choose - and what it means when they finally say "actually, I want the red one."
This is seeing the signs early and catching it BEFORE the meltdown.
AND...
This is 7am and they won't get dressed.
This is someone just hit someone and you're about to lose it.
This is bedtime, hour two, still bouncing off walls.
This is "I'm fine" when they're clearly not.
AND...
This is knowing WHY your words aren't landing - because their thinking brain has gone offline.
This is understanding that the same boundary, delivered at a different moment, changes everything.
This is finally getting why TIMING matters more than the perfect script.
The seeing. The doing. The when.
The practical guide that makes a difference.
"I already understand the patterns - do I need more?"
Understanding is step one.
But if you're still:
- Guessing what to do in the moment
- Unsure whether you're seeing play or stress
- Struggling with boundaries that don't land
- Wondering why nothing works
- Losing it even though you "know better"
Then yes - this is the next step.
From understanding → to action.
WHAT SETS THIS COURSE APART
Most courses give you scripts.
"Say this, not that."
But scripts disappear when you're activated.
This course shows you WHY things work - so you can adapt in real time.
Most courses focus only on your child.
Understand THEM. Help THEM.
But you're 50% of every interaction.
This course includes YOU - what's happening in your body, and why it matters.
Most courses make you feel like you're failing.
More to remember. More to do perfectly.
This course gives you permission to be human.
Mess up. Repair. Learn.
That's the path.
Eleanor + Emma
Frequently asked questions
What's the difference between this and Reconnected Parenting?
This course teaches you to SEE your child's nervous system and gives you practical tools for everyday moments - the play patterns, the stress archetypes, boundaries that land, repair when you mess up.
Reconnected Parenting is where you go DEEP. It's where Connected Play lives - playing WITH your child in ways that help them process, integrate, and heal. It's where we work with the whole family nervous system. It's transformation, not just tools.
Many families start here to build the foundation - the language, the lens, the everyday skills. Then move into Reconnected Parenting when they're ready for the deeper journey.
I've done your webinars. Is this repetition?
The patterns are reviewed briefly as foundation. Everything else goes much deeper - the stress archetypes, boundaries by archetype, real scenarios, repair for each pattern, plus Modules 4 & 5 which are entirely new content.
I'm brand new - can I follow?
Yes. Module 1 teaches the patterns from the ground up. You'll have everything you need.
Yes. Module 1 teaches the patterns from the ground up. You'll have everything you need.
What ages does this cover?
Toddlers through teens. The patterns are universal - examples span all ages.
What about neurodivergent kids?
The nervous system framework applies to all kids. Many parents find it especially helpful for understanding their ADHD, autistic, or sensory-sensitive children. It's not a replacement for specialist support - it works alongside it.
What's your refund policy?
Due to the digital nature and immediate access, we don't offer refunds. But we're confident you'll get far more than $17 in value.